Monday, May 14, 2007

The day I got assaulted...

Just finished another year in my life...I'm now well aged and nicely matured at the age of 22. I think since its been more than a year now I'll relate to you the most embarassing thing that has ever happened to me...I got assaulted by a man with a paralysed arm...on my 21st birthday!

So here's what happened....

It was just past midnight on the 11th of May and the birthday calls were flowing in from friends and family when two of my friends from church showed up at my flat to take me out for some early morning coffee...

Since it was like 12:30am I could think of only one place that would be open at that hour. It was a spurious restaurant which operated undercover into the wee hours of the morning, operating behind nearly closed shutters and mostly catering to students who plan on staying up the whole night studying. Not many people know of this joint and its whereabouts are only circulated by word of mouth from one student to another.

So we went inside and waited for a waiter to come and serve us. Apart from being the only eating joint open all night long, this place is also famous for Uttam Kamble aka UK. He is the head waiter at the restaurant and sports an engineering degree from one of Pune's most prestigious colleges. Sadly he has a paralysed arm and thats probably why he works as a waiter at the said restaurant. Hes quite famous among the college students coz he converses in fluent English and is quite friendly....so I thought!

As UK was taking our order, one of my friends thought it would be good to mention to him that its my birthday...UK was very pleased to hear this as his birthday was only a few days away and he said that they should get together and give me a couple of birthday bumps. We all laughed it off and placed our order.UK decided to change our order from 3 teas to 3 special coffees since it was a special day for me...and we didnt say anything so as not to seem ungrateful.

After we were done with the coffee and a few omletes, my friends waited outside the restaurant while I stayed back inside to clear the bill. Since UK wasnt around I decided to pay the bill at the main counter itself...this would mean UK wouldnt get a tip but I thought that would be alright (Id like to mention at this poitn that the special coffee wasnt 'on the house' as we thought it would be....UK charged us for it!).

As I was about to leave with the spare change after paying the bill, UK showed up demanding a birthday gift from me...which was quite ironic since it was my birthday. Seeing the change in my hand he asked me to buy him a cigarette with it...thus clearing his tip and taking care of the birthday gift at the same time. Even though I dont encourage smokers I bought him the cigarette and turned to leave. As I bent under the shutters to leave I felt a sharp pain in my butt! Thats coz UK decided to unceremoniously plant his knee there. I turned around in shock to see UK smiling at me. Then he shouted out "One!! Haha... I told you I'd give you birthday bumps!" as if to start the counting for 21 bumps that he was planning to give me....

I fled the place with what remained of my dignity and my 'friends' laughing their heads off.

6 comments:

Akanksha said...

weird!!!!!!!!!!!!
*shakes of the creepy feelin..starts laughing...
ha ha .. great bday gift!!

SwitchBlade said...

Im not sure if its great but its definitely a very memorable one!!

Skinniyah said...

You tell it much better live... with the uncontrollable giggling... and such.

Grafxgurl said...

YOU GOT SPANKED!!

WOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! !!
Haooy belated birthday!!

pRicky said...

hey belated birthday wishes...
good to see you after a long time...
tends to get urself in perspective such incidents...
I am sure at a later time you found it amusing atleast...

White Forest said...

belated bday wishes buddy!